January 30, 2014
A new year has begun, after one wild and transformative year last year. Many ups and down over the past 13 months have taught me a great deal about myself, about my life, about the Powerful Consciousness that is in and around all of us.
I will be renewing this website over the next few months, as I build a new focus of reaching out to help others in a more direct and specific way, and sharing what I have learned with others. To that end I became an ordained minister over the past year, and have been focusing my personal studies on how to guide and counsel others on their spiritual journey, which is in fact their life journey, for the two are inseparable. Everything is sacred, so all of the goals you set, projects you undertake, and things you focus on have a spiritual connection. All is connected through the Universal Energy that makes all life and matter possible. I hope that as you visit this site, you know that you are never alone, even if you feel isolated right now. We are all connected, and as we each awaken to that reality, we find that our spirits can guide our purpose. Seek deep in prayer to connect with the God that is the Powerful Consciousness, the Universal Energy that creates and sustains everything and everyone. Here is hoping you notice the many blessings you have throughout this new year.
2013:A year for fulfillment, peace, and stability
2012 over and done…a long year, filled with many ups and downs. A year with a variety of fears and a variety of joys...a year of much change. Many of the changes and challenges, joys and triumphs I have blogged about or shared in some way, but a few have been personal and I have kept them to myself. So I will recap 2012 in just a basic run down--
1) The Laundromat was successfully renovated to a house (though the time and cost were far greater than expected). We moved in Late May/early June, started a small daycare at home through the summer, learned a great deal about myself during that process, and ended daycare unexpectedly in September due to the necessity in transporting my youngest son to school 60 miles away each day.
2) My youngest son changing into a very difficult & challenging child, dealing with school issues involving those changes, learning much more about Josiah’s brain damage that I was not clear on previously, and learning that most (but not all) of the parenting methods I was using with him were correct, and just needed some tweaking and fine tuning. I have spent time learning some new techniques to manage issues for both of the boys that have been more helpful than what I was doing. It is a great gift to be seeking clarity and then listening to the answers and following the paths provided through the Powerful Consciousness that connects all things together.
3) My older son’s perfect-for-him school program classroom being closed down due to budget cuts, and him starting in a pilot program, having him be a great student for the first time ever (having 2 teachers with 2 children for most of the day (4 more come in late in the day) and having him be the youngest by at least 3 years made a HUGE difference (no targets, so he can focus on improving himself instead of vying for attention). Learning that he can control certain behaviors well at school that we had been told by professionals were beyond his control (like the hand flapping), so he is being held to a higher standard at home now too. Also finding out that the loving but militant approach (which I hate) that I have been taking with him for the past 18 months is actually working—those extremely firm boundaries with quick, clear consequences devoid of emotional response (not as easy as it may sound) are exactly what he needs, his behavior is improving (aside from incessant sibling rivalry issues, as he torments his brother, but even that is finally showing some improvement), his self confidence is improving, and his ability to feel and express positive emotions is beginning to flourish. Perhaps he is healing for the damage that occurs in his birth home and bouncing through the foster care system.
4) My health and personal transformation focus really took a back seat this year with the many urgent, pressing, and time consuming things I had on my plate, but I still am eating healthier at the end of the year than I was at the beginning, so making slow, consistent changes, added in many more veggies and fruit and greatly reduced the amount of processed and refined foods and sugars. I have done more with reducing my stress level throughout the Fall and have been creating better habits in a variety of areas. And my focus on continuing to grow deeper in my Spirituality and connection to the creator, the consciousness that is in all things, has also been finding a clearer path. As I have begun moving from being in survival mode due to certain circumstances in life, to planting my feet on the ground and my heart in the center of all that is, I am begin to live life instead of just surviving it.
I am looking forward to 2013, as many of the issues that had been on-going over the past few years have reached or nearly reached a resolution point, which frees me up to focus on other issues that I have been neglecting. I believe that 2013 will be a great year of forward growth and transformation, just as 2012 was, and I think the areas that I will be focusing on most are these:
1) My home and family will be a family of peace and calm—too much turmoil and uncertainty have plagued us for the past few years, and now that our house is livable, handicap accessible, and more than big enough for all of our needs, we can focus on healing the emotional damage that has happened while our living situation, day to day needs, and our routines were in flux so much. While we always have to live in the ebb and flow of life, not living in the middle of a tempest will give us time to grow together, heal together, and address some of the challenges that have created issues for each of us and for our little family dynamic over the past year. So one of our primary foci for the year 2013 is becoming a family with peace at our core, so that when life’s chaos enters our home/lives (as it sometimes will), we are solid and safe, and can handle it without it throwing us into the wind.
2) Health and Fitness—physical, spiritual, mental—a focus on continuing to develop good habits that support health and well-being is vital to this year. I have many heirloom seeds that we will plant this Spring, to grow as much of our own food as we can. Doing this will not only help us all feel closer to each other, as the gardening process is a life affirming process, but will also ensure the safety of our food, and as prices have been going batty with food this past year, will hopefully buffer some of the cost to fee our family. I also plan to learn to can and pickle things like my mother always did when we were little, so we can enjoy our harvest throughout next winter. Making solid, heavier exercise a vital part of my daily routine is one of my biggest goals, as I found that it made my legs hurt less (except my knees), helped keep my mood lifted, made me more patient, and helped me sleep much better. Ensuring that whole foods become even more prevalent (and maybe even the only thing we eat that is processed is processed at home by me—so almost no commercially processed foods—except maybe chocolate…)
3) To focus on finances, and get out of the chaos that my finances have been since we adopted Josiah, followed by A’s return to active alcoholism, followed by moving, followed by splitting up, etc…. it has been a series of major life changes and challenges over the past 6+years that have to be straightened out. Now that life is more stable, and I am committed to staying where I am for the next 5-10 years so that we, as a family, can have stability and get to the point of being free of unsecured debts (that is my first goal, all debt will be my second goal—baby steps right). I know it will not be easy, as not only will I have to change my relationship and perspectives on money, I will also have to increase my income as even with the assistance that I get to help meet our basic needs, I am still living paycheck to paycheck, often not quite making ends meet at the end of every month. So, I am still applying and still looking for jobs that will be able to accommodate being apparent with two kids with special needs, and I am still brainstorming other ways to generate income without big start-up costs or huge time commitments, and that do not exacerbate the boys’ issues (or mine for that matter). For now I continue with the freelance writing (which I have neglected for 2 months due to the holiday insanity plus some other issues), I continue to write my books and will be setting new goals and timelines for them, and I am going to be looking into doing more of my crafts that I have not done in a few years and seeing if I can create some to sell. So I am definitely looking at the multiple streams of income approach, doing things that bring me joy and fulfillment to generate that income, and still leave me available to meet the medical, psychological, educational, emotional and spiritual needs of my kiddos.
So that is what 2013 holds for me…May you also find the paths for you that bring you fulfillment, meet your basic needs, free you from your burdens, and bring peace and joy to the core of your life.